Dealing with Failure

I had this interesting talks with my friend today. I told him how my work interview went not so good. I think I messed it. But I just said to him, "Yeah if it's not for me, then it's not for me. Maybe I'll go get something else". He was a lil bit surprised hearing my response. He asked "Why is it so easy for you to say that? Some people would just become so upset after their hard work isn't paid off, especially when they put 100% effort and thought at it"

I stop for a moment. Hmmm honestly it's also never been easy for me too, but guess I have changed? I finally said,

"I think there are a lot of things in this world happened by other cause, not because of us. Something that we can't control. There are things that we aren't capable to push, simply because it's not our part / job to do it. We can't control everything. I for example, can't control what the interviewer think of me. Maybe it's not because I'm lack of skills to do the job, maybe it's just because I'm not her type or maybe she's looking for other people that she expect, can stay longer for the job. And it's not my fault if I can't stand for her as her wish. It's not my fault for not to be her type of co-worker that she like. Maybe I myself for her is too outspoken. Or maybe simply because she dislike my lipstick color? Who knows, rite? Still there are hundreds list of maybe that can actually be the cause."

Now let's imagine you're staying in box of glass. You still can merely see your reflection on the glass and you can also see through something outside the glass. When you focus on looking at your own reflection, what will you see? Yes yourself. You're seeing you. And you'll think about how you look like, you'll think about why your nose somehow getting bigger, you'll notice the same acne of yours keep growing on the same spot and you'll think why it's always on your chin? You'll see that oh you're getting skinnier or you're getting fatter. You'll think about how your skin color will look better if you choose different dresses. All you do is stargazing yourself. You make this whole idea of yourself by yourself. All you can find is flaws, because it's easiest to see something different. It just naturally comes like that. Meanwhile you have the option to see through. Something outside the glass. You can scoot over your view. Start to focus on something outside the box. Start to see something beyond you. It's beautiful. It probably won't hurt you the way you do when you see you.

What I'm saying is, it's a futile thing to judge yourself by your own opinion. Let's stop this tragic behavior of unconsciously hurting yourself based on your wild imagination. We're used to do that but I don't think this habit is a worth-keeping one.

So what to do when you meet failure? Just focus to the other thing beside yourself. You've got plenty of things to steal your attention. You're not capable of designing the whole world. You're not capable of choosing the other people thinking way. You're just one single person surrounded by millions of possibilities. And it's never your fault if what you are or what you do isn't what people wants, what they expect.

It's not your fault to be existed for who you're. And it's not their fault to be existed for who they are, the way you probably never want to.